2019.10.23
英文メールの書き方：商談結果を報告する
こんなシチュエーション、お仕事でありませんか？
商談を終えて、チームリーダーに結果を報告したい。
英文メールで「商談結果を報告する」お手本を動画でチェック！
こちらの動画では、伝えるべきメッセージとニュアンスを書き手が考えているところから、以下の内容のメールを実際に英語で書く様子までをご覧いただけます。
———————
エビナさん、
ABC大学の方とお会いし、新サービスをご紹介してきましたが、サービス自体にご興味を示し我々が提供しようとしている価値を理解しててくださったものの、大学が学生のトレーニング費用を負担することについては疑問をお持ちでした。
エビナさんが以前おっしゃっていたように、教育機関とは業務提携をする方が現実的かもしれません。
後ほど詳細をご報告します。
———————
今後の仕事での英語メールの参考になれば幸いです。
【動画内の”CC”ボタンをクリックして英語字幕を表示！】
【過去の動画を見るにはYoutubeページへ！Subscribe！】
0:00:04.520,0:00:10.380
Hello everyone. Welcome to E-mail Picks. This afternoon, I visited a new university
0:00:10.380,0:00:13.710
client to see if they would be
interested in our service - our new
0:00:13.710,0:00:18.420
service. But it turned out to be not so
great. The client was interested in what
0:00:18.420,0:00:22.470
we had to offer, but our business model
didn't really match with their need. So
0:00:22.470,0:00:26.070
although we will keep in touch with this
client, we're not expecting any business
0:00:26.070,0:00:30.689
to happen with them any time soon. Now I need to tell this to our project manager
0:00:30.689,0:00:36.120
who oversees the business development of this new product, which means, basically, I
0:00:36.120,0:00:40.079
need to tell him bad news. But of course
I don't want to interpret this as a
0:00:40.079,0:00:44.579
failure, but rather a stepping stone to
success. So today, let me show you how I
0:00:44.579,0:00:49.370
phrase a piece of bad news in a positive-sounding manner. Here goes.
0:00:49.370,0:00:53.969
Hi Ebina-san, We met with a
representative of ABC university and
0:00:53.969,0:00:57.960
introduced our new service. Although they
showed interest in the service itself
0:00:57.960,0:01:01.949
and seemed to have understood the value we were aiming to provide, they were not
0:01:01.949,0:01:04.920
too convinced about the idea that the
school should be paying for their
0:01:04.920,0:01:09.180
students' training. As you have pointed
out earlier, partnering with educational
0:01:09.180,0:01:12.750
institutions may be a more feasible
approach to this business. Please let us
0:01:12.750,0:01:19.259
share details in our next meeting. Kyota.
OK, so in this e-mail, I am communicating
0:01:19.259,0:01:24.030
the bad news in a nuance that accurately
represents the nuance of rejection we
0:01:24.030,0:01:28.170
got from the client. They were very nice
people and they didn't throw water on us
0:01:28.170,0:01:32.520
or anything. They nicely and logically
explained why the university would not
0:01:32.520,0:01:38.009
sign up for our service. So I wrote "they
were not too convinced." And then I
0:01:38.009,0:01:41.880
mentioned that an alternative business
strategy may work better so that it
0:01:41.880,0:01:46.649
doesn't sound like all hope is lost. So
there you go. An e-mail to report results
0:01:46.649,0:01:51.180
of a client visit. Hopefully, we'll be
able to come up with a solid plan soon.
0:01:51.180,0:01:55.700
Anyway, thank you for watching. I'll see
you next week.
Hello everyone. Welcome to E-mail Picks. This afternoon, I visited a new university
0:00:10.380,0:00:13.710
client to see if they would be
interested in our service - our new
0:00:13.710,0:00:18.420
service. But it turned out to be not so
great. The client was interested in what
0:00:18.420,0:00:22.470
we had to offer, but our business model
didn't really match with their need. So
0:00:22.470,0:00:26.070
although we will keep in touch with this
client, we're not expecting any business
0:00:26.070,0:00:30.689
to happen with them any time soon. Now I need to tell this to our project manager
0:00:30.689,0:00:36.120
who oversees the business development of this new product, which means, basically, I
0:00:36.120,0:00:40.079
need to tell him bad news. But of course
I don't want to interpret this as a
0:00:40.079,0:00:44.579
failure, but rather a stepping stone to
success. So today, let me show you how I
0:00:44.579,0:00:49.370
phrase a piece of bad news in a positive-sounding manner. Here goes.
0:00:49.370,0:00:53.969
Hi Ebina-san, We met with a
representative of ABC university and
0:00:53.969,0:00:57.960
introduced our new service. Although they
showed interest in the service itself
0:00:57.960,0:01:01.949
and seemed to have understood the value we were aiming to provide, they were not
0:01:01.949,0:01:04.920
too convinced about the idea that the
school should be paying for their
0:01:04.920,0:01:09.180
students' training. As you have pointed
out earlier, partnering with educational
0:01:09.180,0:01:12.750
institutions may be a more feasible
approach to this business. Please let us
0:01:12.750,0:01:19.259
share details in our next meeting. Kyota.
OK, so in this e-mail, I am communicating
0:01:19.259,0:01:24.030
the bad news in a nuance that accurately
represents the nuance of rejection we
0:01:24.030,0:01:28.170
got from the client. They were very nice
people and they didn't throw water on us
0:01:28.170,0:01:32.520
or anything. They nicely and logically
explained why the university would not
0:01:32.520,0:01:38.009
sign up for our service. So I wrote "they
were not too convinced." And then I
0:01:38.009,0:01:41.880
mentioned that an alternative business
strategy may work better so that it
0:01:41.880,0:01:46.649
doesn't sound like all hope is lost. So
there you go. An e-mail to report results
0:01:46.649,0:01:51.180
of a client visit. Hopefully, we'll be
able to come up with a solid plan soon.
0:01:51.180,0:01:55.700
Anyway, thank you for watching. I'll see
you next week.
